Coffee, Tea or?

Another one that will make us want to snap you on the head after about 20 rows of this routine over and over and ask: “Why do you DO that?” has to do with basic (?) courtesy.

Back to a breakfast flight. The breakfast lights are on, for those of you following in chronological order here 😉 and we are serving coffee fast and furious. On a typical main cabin configuration the seats are 3 and 3 for miles. It’s truly predictable where we are going next, when we will get to you and what we will ask.

We’ve already asserted that flight attendants are the entertainment on a flight, so you’ve been keeping track of when we will get to you with the nectar of the Gods.

Ok, here I am, at YOUR row. All 3 of you very important people cannot even look at me. Finally the guy in the middle looks up and I ask if he would care for a beverage.

“Coffee.”

We like to call that ordering “caveman style.” Just a grunt. Better get it fast and figure out what it means. Go!

I politely inquire if this grown person would like cream or sugar (reads: Do you know after 50 years on this earth how you take your coffee or shall I guess?)

“Sugar.”

I place the coffee down and while I am asking the next person if they would care for a beverage, person 1 barks: “Oh, and some cream!”  Like we’re going to try something new today!!

So I deliver the cream I seemingly forgot, and learn that person 2 wants orange juice and coffee. I go through the whole cream or sugar routine again, and then put some ice in a cup (habit) and pour some juice.

“No Ice.”

Oh, I’m sorry, let me fix that. I pour the juice into another glass and toss the first glass.

“No, it will be too cold.”

I start over.

So now, 4 minutes into this row, I turn to the 3^rd person who has been watching me with their headphones on. Again, I ask if he would care for a beverage.

“What?”

“Would you like something to drink?”

“Huh?”

Personally, I have no words for this. I only have “the look.” You really don’t want to be on the receiving end of “the look” and it speaks volumes, particularly when the other person is wearing noise canceling headphones. Finally the headphones come off.

“Would you like a beverage?”

Wait for it…

“What do you have?”

Now there is always a pause here as each of my filters slam down into position and all of the wonderfully creative answers coursing through my brain get deleted. I mean I would have all of the time in the world to read the entire In-Flight magazine with the choices listed if I thought this was a newbie, but without fail this is the guy who yelled at me when boarding and told me he knew his carry-on fit overhead because “he flies all the time.” Stop and think about how that sounds to someone who flies for a living. Take all the time you need.

“Soft drinks, coffee, tea, fruit juice, cocktails, beer and wine.”

“Coffee.”

“Cream or sugar?”

 

Why do you DO that?